Storiography is the documentary work of designer Christiana Aretta.

A couple of weeks before Christmas, Epicurious ran a recipe called Stained-Glass Ornaments. It had two reviews at the time – one from a cook who found it easy to follow and another from a cook who said it was a total disaster.

Well, that sounds exciting, I thought. This year has been pretty boring – work, work, work, triathlon, work, work, triathlon, work, work, WORK – and total disaster cookies might just liven it up a little.

I made some modifications to the original recipe, mainly in the way the dough is mixed and then worked with. For the first batch, I used both Jolly Ranchers and Life Savers to get a broad range of colors. I abandoned the Life Savers in the second batch because they tended not to melt as evenly and, when they did melt, the colors were muddy and uneven. The Jolly Ranchers, while harder to smash, melted into lovely panes of brilliantly colored transparent candy “glass.” For the second batch, I also substituted Crisco for the butter and didn’t notice any change in the dough quality so if you want to make these without using any dairy products, you can!

Color Notes: A sack of “regular” Jolly Ranchers will give you green (apple), blue (blue raspberry), purple (grape), a pinky-red (watermelon), and red (cherry). If you get the “Passion Mix” Jolly Rancher bag, you’ll get two shades of pinky-red (fruit punch & strawberry), orange (orange), pinky-orange (peach) and a redder purple (raspberry).

Ingredients

• 3 cups all-purpose flour
• 1 teaspoon baking soda
• 1/4 teaspoon salt
• 3/4 teaspoon ground cinnamon
• 1/2 teaspoon ground ginger
• 1/8 teaspoon ground nutmeg
• 3 tbsps unsalted butter, at room temperature
• 1/2 cup firmly packed dark brown sugar
• 3/4 cup dark molasses
• 1/3 cup water
• 12 oz bag of Jolly Rancher candies

Preparation

1. To crush the Jolly Ranchers, segregate them first by color and then place each color group in a Ziploc bag. Close the bag and lay it on a dish towel with a cutting board underneath. Get a hammer and smash away until you have nice little crystals. In my experience, the Ziploc bag does end up tearing some so try not to completely pulverize the candy or you won’t be able to pour it out of the bag and into a little bowl. I generally got 2-3 rounds of pounding out of one small size freezer bag. Crush your candies and put them in little bowls separated by color.

2. Whisk together flour, baking soda, salt, cinnamon, ginger, and nutmeg in a bowl. In a large mixing bowl, cream the butter. Add the sugar and molasses and beat for 2 minutes. Add the dry ingredients in thirds. After the first third, add the water. Beat on medium or knead with your hands until a dough forms. Divide the dough into three balls. Flatten into discs, wrap in wax paper, place in a plastic bag and refrigerate for several hours. In my experience, the dough was still good after 5 days in the refrigerator but too dried out after 2 weeks.

3. Break off a ball of dough about the size below.

4. Roll it out into a rope about 1/4″ thick. I rolled the dough out on wax paper with just my hands – I didn’t feel a need to use flour.

5. Cover a cookie sheet with parchment paper. The original recipe suggested creating a template that you could lay the cookies on but I just played around with the rope until I made shapes I liked. Pretend you’re back in art class in 2nd grade and your teacher had just given you carte blanche to make whatever you want with clay. You can create a loop to hang ornaments by pinching it off a tiny piece of dough and rolling it out and then attaching it in it a hoop. Or you can work the loop into the actual shape of the ornament (as you can see in the blue heart below). Lay your ornaments on the parchment paper.

6. Once you’ve filled up the cookie sheet with ornaments, fill in the outlines with candy pieces. Don’t be skimpy with the candy – put it enough to thoroughly fill in the outlines (Resist the urge to heap it high though – it will flow over the gingerbread and you’ll have to break the hardened overflow edges off the final cookie.) Place the cookie sheet in the center rack in the oven. Bake for about 8 minutes, or until all the candy has melted.

Candy-Melting Note: If you have created a small shape (say, one 1/2″ in diameter or less), there is a good chance that the candy will get too hot and bubble out/evaporate. I’m not sure why this is but it happened several times when I made small or narrow spaces.

6. Remove the cookies from the oven and let them cool on the cookie sheet until the candy has hardened enough to be moved easily, about 10 minutes. Transfer to racks or a cutting board to cool completely. Be sure the cool the cookies on a flat surface or they will cool curved.

7. Don’t eat them! Thread a ribbon or string through the cookies and hang them in a window or on the tree. Or from the nearest light fixture.

And if you happen to break any, they make swell ears:

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