Fig II. Leaves, branches and bricks, vibrantly red.

Fig III. A greyscale study.

Fig IV. Stone and mortar

Fig V. Car-cicles. Pretty but not for eating.

Well, that sounds exciting, I thought. This year has been pretty boring – work, work, work, triathlon, work, work, triathlon, work, work, WORK – and total disaster cookies might just liven it up a little.

I made some modifications to the original recipe, mainly in the way the dough is mixed and then worked with. For the first batch, I used both Jolly Ranchers and Life Savers to get a broad range of colors. I abandoned the Life Savers in the second batch because they tended not to melt as evenly and, when they did melt, the colors were muddy and uneven. The Jolly Ranchers, while harder to smash, melted into lovely panes of brilliantly colored transparent candy “glass.” For the second batch, I also substituted Crisco for the butter and didn’t notice any change in the dough quality so if you want to make these without using any dairy products, you can!

Color Notes: A sack of “regular” Jolly Ranchers will give you green (apple), blue (blue raspberry), purple (grape), a pinky-red (watermelon), and red (cherry). If you get the “Passion Mix” Jolly Rancher bag, you’ll get two shades of pinky-red (fruit punch & strawberry), orange (orange), pinky-orange (peach) and a redder purple (raspberry).

Ingredients

• 3 cups all-purpose flour
• 1 teaspoon baking soda
• 1/4 teaspoon salt
• 3/4 teaspoon ground cinnamon
• 1/2 teaspoon ground ginger
• 1/8 teaspoon ground nutmeg
• 3 tbsps unsalted butter, at room temperature
• 1/2 cup firmly packed dark brown sugar
• 3/4 cup dark molasses
• 1/3 cup water
• 12 oz bag of Jolly Rancher candies

Preparation

1. To crush the Jolly Ranchers, segregate them first by color and then place each color group in a Ziploc bag. Close the bag and lay it on a dish towel with a cutting board underneath. Get a hammer and smash away until you have nice little crystals. In my experience, the Ziploc bag does end up tearing some so try not to completely pulverize the candy or you won’t be able to pour it out of the bag and into a little bowl. I generally got 2-3 rounds of pounding out of one small size freezer bag. Crush your candies and put them in little bowls separated by color.

2. Whisk together flour, baking soda, salt, cinnamon, ginger, and nutmeg in a bowl. In a large mixing bowl, cream the butter. Add the sugar and molasses and beat for 2 minutes. Add the dry ingredients in thirds. After the first third, add the water. Beat on medium or knead with your hands until a dough forms. Divide the dough into three balls. Flatten into discs, wrap in wax paper, place in a plastic bag and refrigerate for several hours. In my experience, the dough was still good after 5 days in the refrigerator but too dried out after 2 weeks.

3. Break off a ball of dough about the size below.

4. Roll it out into a rope about 1/4″ thick. I rolled the dough out on wax paper with just my hands – I didn’t feel a need to use flour.

5. Cover a cookie sheet with parchment paper. The original recipe suggested creating a template that you could lay the cookies on but I just played around with the rope until I made shapes I liked. Pretend you’re back in art class in 2nd grade and your teacher had just given you carte blanche to make whatever you want with clay. You can create a loop to hang ornaments by pinching it off a tiny piece of dough and rolling it out and then attaching it in it a hoop. Or you can work the loop into the actual shape of the ornament (as you can see in the blue heart below). Lay your ornaments on the parchment paper.

6. Once you’ve filled up the cookie sheet with ornaments, fill in the outlines with candy pieces. Don’t be skimpy with the candy – put it enough to thoroughly fill in the outlines (Resist the urge to heap it high though – it will flow over the gingerbread and you’ll have to break the hardened overflow edges off the final cookie.) Place the cookie sheet in the center rack in the oven. Bake for about 8 minutes, or until all the candy has melted.

Candy-Melting Note: If you have created a small shape (say, one 1/2″ in diameter or less), there is a good chance that the candy will get too hot and bubble out/evaporate. I’m not sure why this is but it happened several times when I made small or narrow spaces.

6. Remove the cookies from the oven and let them cool on the cookie sheet until the candy has hardened enough to be moved easily, about 10 minutes. Transfer to racks or a cutting board to cool completely. Be sure the cool the cookies on a flat surface or they will cool curved.

7. Don’t eat them! Thread a ribbon or string through the cookies and hang them in a window or on the tree. Or from the nearest light fixture.

And if you happen to break any, they make swell ears:

Photographer’s Note: Love the way the chocolate’s all melty at the edges.

It’s a pretty versatile recipe – two years ago, Wayne used it to build a scale model of his parents’ farmhouse in Michigan. Last year, we got ambitious and designed modern art interlocking sculpture cookies. In the middle of July this year, I was struck with a vision of Tetris-shaped gingerbread cookies.

Side Note: I was lucky to have this idea in the middle of July because it gave me exactly 5 months to procrastinate, pretending to look for Tetris cookie cutters online and then 1 week to infect my crack cookiecutter engineering and production team with a nasty stomach bug. Fortunately, it was easy enough to lure unsuspecting cookie production staff to the house with promises of homemade chicken stew, apple cider, sugar cookies, SomaFM’s Xmas in Frisko, and Apples to Apples.

Ingredients

• Dough
• 2 1/4 cups unbleached all purpose flour
• 1 teaspoon ground ginger
• 1 teaspoon ground allspice
• 1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon
• 1/2 teaspoon baking soda
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 1 cup (2 sticks) unsalted butter, room temperature
• 1/2 cup (packed) golden brown sugar
• 1/4 cup mild-flavored (light) molasses
• Glaze
• 3/4 cup half and half
• 1/3 cup (1 ounce) juniper berries, lightly crushed
• 1 pound powdered sugar
• Assorted decorations (colored sugars, nonpareils, and dragées)

Preparation

1. Whisk first 6 ingredients in medium bowl. Beat butter and sugar in large bowl until fluffy. Beat in molasses. Beat in dry ingredients. Gather dough; divide into 4 pieces. Shape into disks. Wrap; chill at least 2 hours and up to 2 days.
2. Preheat oven to 350°F. Line 2 baking sheets with parchment. Roll out 1 dough disk to 1/8-inch thickness. Using 3 1/2-inch cutter, cut out cookies. Transfer to sheet. Gather scraps; chill.
3. Bake cookies until almost firm in center, 12 minutes. Cool on sheets 2 minutes, then cool on racks. Repeat, using all dough. Store airtight at room temperature up to 3 days or freeze up to 2 weeks.
4. Bring first 2 ingredients to simmer. Cover; chill 5 hours. Strain. Place powdered sugar in bowl. Whisk in half and half by spoonfuls until glaze is spreadable. Frost cookies; decorate. Let stand until glaze sets. Store between sheets of waxed paper in airtight container at room temperature up to 3 days.

Side note: I never a picky kid. My favorite food as a kid was liver and onions. Seriously.

My grandmother was very picky about what went into her cottage pie – only beef. and only potatoes. and whatever other ingredients were listed in her dogeared copy of Erma Rombauer’s The Joy of Cooking. Never lamb nor rosemary, since that was shepherd’s pie, which is another dish entirely.

In my grandmother’s taxonomy, shepherd’s pie and cottage pie were two complete and distinct species who didn’t intermingle or cross-pollinate. In my taxonomy, they’re just different varieties of the same animal Yummy Potaticus Meation.

What I’ve included here is a basic cottage pie recipe that can be baked either in a 9″ round baking dish or 2 small Smarta dishes from IKEA. Consider it a broad canvas on which to paint your own masterpiece, be it a combination of sweet and regular potatoes for the crust, the addition of paprika for more smoky flavor, carrots or parsnips for sweetness, olives and red wine for a spanish twist, etc.

Ingredients

• 1/2 pd ground beef
• 1/2 good sized onion
• 1 big carrot, peeled and chopped
• 1/4 pd brown mushrooms, chopped coarsely
• 1 pound of potatoes
• 2 garlic cloves, minced or grated
• 1 tbsp fresh rosemary or 1/2 tsp dried
• 2 tbsp Worcestershire or soy sauce
• salt and pepper to taste
• optional and completely non-traditional: finely grated cheese of your cheese

Preparations

1. If you don’t like skin in your mashed potatoes, peel ‘em. Boil the potatoes until tender. Mash with a fork and add whatever you like to add to mashed potatoes – butter, milk, mayonnaise, etc. Season with salt and pepper.
2. Preheat the oven to 350°. Chop the onion and saute until semi-translucent. Add ground beef, carrot, rosemary, Worcestershire/soy sauce, salt, pepper, and garlic. Saute until meat is cooked through. If using Smarta dishes, the potatoes will heap quite a bit higher than the edge of the dish itself. You may worry about losing some potato goodness but fret not, it will simply yield a greater surface area for crispy potato goodness.
3. Using a fork, cover the meat with mashed potatoes. For extra fancy, create a hatched pattern on the top of the potatoes with the fork. If you’ve opted for the cheese, sprinkle it on the top of the potatoes.
4. Put the baking dishes on a cookie sheet and place in the oven, not on the topmost rack but the one just beneath it. Bake for 25 minutes, or until potatoes are golden brown and meat nice and bubbly. Serve piping hot on a cold, windy day with a nice green salad, red wine and some kind of spiced apple dessert.

Have a favorite Yummy Potaticus Meation recipe? Do share in the comments!

• 6 bacon strips
• 3 cloves of garlic, minced fine
• 2-3 bunches of kale

Preparation

1. Saute bacon in a frying or saute pan until crispy. Drain well, keeping grease in the pan and set bacon aside. Reheat the grease and add garlic, stirfrying for a minute. Add kale and toss to coat with grease and garlic. Stirfry for about 2 minutes.
2. Mince bacon finely. Transfer kale to a large bowl, add bacon and toss until well mixed. Serve with pretty much anything.

Postprandial Notes: I really enjoy this dish with spicy things like curry and carne adovada.